Prodigal Son
by abydonian
Summary: The Shroud episode tag: When Daniel returns to the SGC, he and Vala must come to terms with the choices they were forced to make.


"Jack, for the hundredth time, I did not willingly become a Prior just so you'd come see me again!" Daniel Jackson shook his head in exasperation. He knew his friend was only trying to lighten the mood, but he so did not need the reminder of recent events at that moment.

He'd come into the commissary just to grab a cup of coffee, when he'd been spotted by General Jack O'Neill, who had flagged him over to the table. Daniel had wanted to return to his office, but knew Jack would be leaving the base later that day and figured he should spend some time with the man who'd become his best friend over the past ten years. As he'd walked across the room towards the table, he heard whispering and felt himself being stared at. He knew word had gotten around the SGC about what had happened to him, but really hadn't thought much about it until now. Daniel inconspicuously glanced around, and saw the looks on the people's faces reflecting anything from mild distrust to actual fear. Their reactions upset him, and he briefly considered yelling out 'Hallowed are the Ori!' just to see what would happen. He didn't, of course. Messing with people's heads just for fun was more Jack's style than his own. So, he'd quietly taken a seat across from his friend and proceeded to chat for a while about nothing really important. He noticed that as he talked with Jack, the others in the room seemed to calm down a bit. Obviously, if General O'Neill thought Daniel was okay, then that was good enough for them. He'd all but forgotten about the initial reaction of the base personnel to his return, when Jack had teasingly suggested that Daniel had gotten himself in trouble just so Jack would have to return to the SGC to help him out. Daniel ignored the comment the first time. And the second and third times as well. The fourth time, he'd told Jack that if he knew the older man was going to show up, he'd have stayed with Adria. Jack had taken that as an invitation to escalate their banter. Which eventually led to Daniel's current state of exasperation.

"If you missed me that much," Jack continued as though Daniel hadn't even spoken. "You could have picked up the phone and called."

Daniel stood and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You know, I was right."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Back on the Odyssey, I said that while some things change, others stay the same."

"And?" Jack gestured for him to continue.

"And…you're just as frustrating as you've always been." Daniel gave Jack a semi-forced smile.

Jack grinned. "Why, thank you."

Daniel shook his head. "Seriously, though, it was good to see you."

"You, too." Jack admitted. He studied Daniel for a moment and then added. "But you might want to shave. Although this look is better than your last one, the stubble really isn't you."

"I'll take that under consideration." Daniel nodded once. "Look, I'm going to get going. Take care and have a safe trip."

"Sure." Jack gave him a little wave.

Daniel had just reached the door, when his friend called out to him. "And stay out of trouble, Daniel! I am not doing this again!"

Daniel rolled his eyes as he stepped out into the corridor. He was about to go back to his office, when he realized how incredibly drained he felt, both physically and emotionally. So, abandoning the idea of working a bit longer, he headed to his quarters.

As he entered the room, he pulled off his jacket and tossed it towards his chair. It missed its target, and landed on the floor in a heap. Daniel didn't bother to pick it up. He sat down on his bed, facing away from the door, and took off his boots and socks. He had begun to remove his black t-shirt as well, when he heard a knock at the door. Before he had a chance to tell whoever it was to go away, the door swung open, and someone took a couple of steps into his quarters. Daniel didn't turn to face his visitor. There was only one person besides Jack who would enter his room without an invitation.

"Not now, Vala."

Seeing him with his shirt pulled half-way up, Vala Mal Doran laughed. "Oh, don't let me interrupt you. Just keep getting undressed, and pretend I'm not even here." He heard the door shut behind her. "That is of course, unless you want me to help you." She added, her voice taking on that familiar seductive quality.

Daniel pulled his shirt back down. "Vala, as entertaining as your company usually is, I'd really like to get some rest."

"Actually, since you've been gone a bit, I thought I could get you up to speed on all the good gossip." He heard her step further into the room as she spoke, obviously not about to leave and grant him some peace and quiet. "And you never did let me tell you what's been happening on 'One Life to Live'.

"Yeah," Daniel agreed. "That's because I'm not interested."

"Sure you are." Vala cheerfully countered. "You and I watch it everyday on that television in your office."

"No, you watch it, with the volume up way too loud, while I try and concentrate on getting my work done."

"You love it." Vala insisted.

Daniel sighed. He had way too much on his mind, and wasn't in the mood to continue with their lighthearted banter. So, in a quiet voice, he made a request. "Look, please…just go."

There was a long moment of silence. He could almost feel her mood shift from playful to subdued. He knew he'd probably hurt her feelings, and he did feel bad about it, but was relieved that it meant she'd most likely leave. He'd just have to apologize to her later for speaking a little harshly.

After a minute, though, he realized that she was still standing at the other side of his bed. He was about to repeat his plea for her to go, when she spoke again. This time, her voice was barely audible.

"You would, wouldn't you?"

"What?" Daniel finally turned his head to look at her.

"When you were strapped down in that chair, I asked if you would support me if our positions were reversed. If what I proposed could very well lead the Ori to victory." Daniel saw pain and sadness on her face as she continued. "I didn't trust you, but you would have trusted me. You have. I've given you no reason to trust me and you have. But when you, you who've never given me reason to doubt you, when you ask for a little bit of trust, I can't. I wanted to, believe me Daniel, I wanted to. I just…" Vala bit her lower lip. Then she whispered. "I understand why you're mad at me."

Daniel blinked in surprise. "Mad? Vala, no! I…I'm not mad at you. You had your reasons for how you felt and I don't know how I would have reacted if the situation was reversed."

"I do." Vala stated confidently. "Besides, it felt like I was the only one not on your side. Teal'c, Sam, General O'Neill, they all…"

"Didn't trust me either." Daniel finished. He turned his gaze away from her again, and hung his head. "They said they did, and I'm sure they tried to, but…they didn't." Daniel thought back to when he had appeared on Adria's ship. It was funny, in a somewhat depressing kind of way. Adria had immediately assumed he'd betrayed her (which he had), while Sam and Teal'c had likewise assumed that they'd been betrayed. Looking at his team's expressions, he'd seen hurt and anger, but not that much surprise. It was as if they hadn't wanted to believe that he'd deceive them, but his apparent betrayal hadn't really shocked them either. And even after he'd taken out Adria, Daniel had still wound up staring at the business end of Teal'c's P-90. Only after seeing his weakened state did they let their guard down. So, no, Daniel really didn't believe anyone had completely trusted him, but he wasn't holding any grudges. He wasn't sure what he'd do in their position. Besides, the little bit of trust he'd finally won had been enough. The mission had been a success.

Vala seemed to think over what he'd said. "So, you're really not upset at me?" She sounded hopeful.

"No, no I'm not."

"Still, I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

He heard her turn to leave. His mind told him to let her go, that solitude was what he really wanted, but before he could stop himself, he called out to her. "Vala, wait."

She walked back over to the bed. "Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Daniel let out a small laugh. Then he once again grew serious. "What do you see when you look in the mirror?"

"What do you mean?"

Daniel took a deep breath before replying. "Ever since the Tok'ra removed the Goa'uld, have you ever looked in the mirror and seen Qetesh staring back at you?"

Vala hesitated, then answered. "Sometimes, yes."

"I keep thinking that if I look in the mirror, I won't see me back to normal. That I'll see my face looking like that of the Prior I had become." He paused for a moment. "I really don't want to look in any mirrors."

"So that explains the lack of shaving." Vala teased.

"Hard to do without looking at a reflection." Daniel agreed.

Another moment of silence followed, then Vala asked. "Do you mean to tell me you haven't looked in a mirror since we got you back?"

"Nope." Daniel answered. "Stupid, huh?"

"Extremely." Vala moved to sit on the bed next to him. "Daniel, when I said earlier that I sometimes see Qetesh, I forgot to mention that I haven't seen her since joining SG-1. You see, every time before that, when I'd do something… a little across the line from moral, I'd picture her in the mirror taunting me. Telling me I was no better than her. Before you came along, that was the closest thing I had to a conscience. But you've taught me I'm not like her, I'm better than all that. Just like you are way better than a Prior." Vala reached out and took his chin in her hand, turning him to face her. "Daniel when you look in the mirror, I promise all you'll see is your own extraordinarily handsome face."

Daniel closed his eyes, trying to keep his emotions under some semblance of control. He wanted to believe her, but something still bothered him. "Am I better than all that?"

"Of course you are, silly. Why ask?"

"Because the only thing that stopped Adria from getting into my mind and converting me for real was Merlin. With out his protection, she might have succeeded in turning me."

"Using mind control, Daniel." Vala pointed out. "Even if it had happened that way, it wouldn't have been your fault."

Daniel let out a sigh. "When I ascended, Oma said I could do it because she saw a... a goodness in me. But, now, if I can become something like a Prior, what does that say? Is there something wrong with me? A... ah, I don't know, darkness or something. What if I'm somehow tainted or…"

"No." Vala cut him off. "You are still a good person, Daniel. The best I know. And you let something terrible happen to you only so you could help others." She smiled at him. "I'd say you've still got that goodness in you."

He returned her smile, grateful for her words and the peace they gave him. "So, in other words, I'm just being silly."

"I wasn't going to say it." She gave him a playful shove, then stood up. "Well, if you're done moping, let's go get a bite to eat. I'm starving."

"Sure." Daniel agreed, getting to his feet. He put his socks and boots back on and followed Vala to the door.

As she turned the knob, she spoke again. "You know, there was one good thing about what happened."

"What?"

Vala pulled open the door, then gave him a mischievous grin. "I got to sit in your lap, and you couldn't do anything about it." With that she turned and practically skipped down the corridor.

Daniel shook his head and laughed, before starting off after her. _Oh, yeah,_ he thought, remembering what he'd said to Jack earlier. _Some things never do change._ And silently he prayed that they never would.


End file.
